The Consent saga

Ok - so this is how it goes so far (the shortened version)....

Sept 1 - sent in to council
Soon after that got a PIM - that stands for something irrelevant I am sure... but they send you a letter telling you that you now have one.

About a week later get a letter from City Certifiers Independant certifiers yay) saying there is information they still need - turns out most of it was actually on the plans - they were just using 'I can't see it' eyes.

Nothing for 4 weeks so we hoped it was all moving along nicely.

Then - Resource Consent people complain about the fact we have a sink in the office kitchen, no bathroom (just a loo) but a sink - no oven... but they think we could be trying to do the dirty and rent out the office as a seperate dwelling...and you can only have one sink (or dishwasher) per household unit.

But - we are not renting it out and 'another household unit' will not be living in there. Don't care - can't have the sink, and it's 4mx4m bigger than is allowed for a minor dwelling - BUT - it's not a minor dwelling - it's an office.!!! Oh well I shall check with my Team Leader (good friggin idea).

10 days later - Harmony check with her - oh I discussed it with my Team Leader and didn't get an answer either way (so what has she been doing for 10 days apart from sitting on the file??!!??)...

So she talks to Team Leader who decides to let it through - with strict conditions - of which we have not seen yet, and no sink. But he also comments that he is 'mystified' as to why we need such a large lunch room area. NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN BLOODY BUSINESS! Thinking of taking him to Human Rights Assn to complain - saying I am 500kgs and need one that big...

Bloody hell.

So that was three weeks ago and I thought we were close.....

We had this report attached to our title by Consultants Cato Bolam - they said we needed to have a bund for storm water. Harmony suggested we get them out again to re do the report to allow for the bigger than allowed roof area (by 7mx7m or so I think) and Cato said sure thing - we'll do that - for a fee - and by the way you don't need a bund anymore - councils prefer detention tanks now. Ok.

Two weeks ago...well the file goes to the Engineer who reckons he can't see where the bund is...doesn't have the new report and wants to know where the bund is. So I get a copy and email it through - guess what - he's gone for the week - back next week. So then we are told that the 'report' has to be attached to the title, and the old one removed, so back to Resource Consent Dept (and my favourite Team Leader)...

So - engineer has everything he needs we think (on Friday).... I call up - he's away today -and it's a long weekend - back on Tuesday.
Tuesday - Resource Consent Dept have the friggin file again - about the earthworks (which is actually all we needed Resource Consent for)... we are cutting and filling - not removing any dirt.

She wants to know - the Geotech report states we need a retaining wall - do we? She asks.
Harmony quote the report back to her "needing a retaining wall or battering 2:1" which we have on the plans - so no - we don't.

Ok - she says - I shall send it to the engineer to see if he says that's ok (even though they ask for an engineers report at the time of application).

Wednesday- back from engineer - he said it's ok - now I'll give it to my Team Leader to consider - oh my favourite guy. At this point I imagine he has short mans disease most definitely! And pimples. And maybe BO too. Oily hair - yep. Shorts and long socks and sandals - yeeess!!

Today - our Septic Tank guy calls saying the council have called him and asked him to re-do the septic tank drip area because our new plans are impinging on the reserve area - you know - that's the area of septic drips we will need when we move the extra household unit and 14 asian students in to live.

arrrrgggghhhhhh - will we ever be out of this barn and in our house!

So glad Harmony are dealing with them and not me - I would have breathed fire on someone by now.